Green Comfort Zones and rabbits

I'm probably going to last two days on this blog. So, I went outside my comfort zone today! I was in Walgreens and I did a double take when I saw this 'spring green' nail polish by Sally Hanson! Me, Little Miss either don't do my nails AT all or else they gotta be 'red'! NOT TODAY! Today I picked out 'green' - and I liked it! It's sitting here right in front of me - it wants me to actually USE it and soon! I'm going to put it on my toes and my reasoning is this...I'm a gardner now and gardners should all have green nails! It's like a symbol of gardening! My toes are going to represent my status to the world!

People will see me and look down at my toes and give me the 'gardner' nod. They'll know. Green polish! It's a sign! It will let people know I'm earthy and not afraid to get my feet in the dirt where the worms are living. say it with me! "I am going to wear green polish!" After I use it on my toes, I can just imagine the day my husband spots my green toe nails. I'm pretty sure he's going to bust out laughing and say "Dear!" Then he will immediately tell me I'm too old for that color! I'll say "Oh so what?" "I like it, it makes me feel fun!" I'll wear it until it wears off completely.

Ok, new topic... so have I told you how the rabbits devastated my back yard over the winter? Have I told you that it makes me positively SEETHE that they wrecked my garden? Well, can I tell you that right now as I type this I looked outside and there are 4 #@#!! rabbits just hangin' out in my back yard right now! AS IF I want to ever see one of those creatures in my yard again! Apparently my back yard is bunny utopia! ##@#!!! Next scene: me outside, yelling at the cute faced bunnies and then chasing them. One of them looked at me like "What's the problem?" then he ran too. I wish I could actually TELL them what their rabbit friends did, how they destroyed and ate my garden and bushes! Then to have them really understand why it's NOT a good thing to come into our yard! I want them to say to one another, "Shit! Whatever you do, DO NOT GO in that lady's yard!" when they look at my house! If you think for one minute that I'm being hard, again...you should see what they did to my yard! My girlfriend used the words rabbit holocaust! You have to know that for her to even 'think' those words about my yard, it must have looked pretty BAD! It DID! And there were thousands and thousands of rabbit droppings in our back yard! We probably should have purchased has mat suits! My friend walked around with her hand over her mouth as she looked at my yard, I'm pretty sure she was gagging at the amount of rabbit excretions she was walking through. I AM NOT A FAN OF THE BLASTED FUZZY OVER POPULATING RABBITS! I think my friend wears plastic bags over her feet now when ever she comes to my house. Just in case.

This same friend never wants to take her shoes off anymore when she comes to my house. I'm pretty sure it's because she doesn't want me to see those plastic bags over her heels and toes. I wonder how she keeps them on. Rubber bands? Old pony tail holders? Something has to be holding them up. It will cut off her circulation if she's using rubber bands. I should really 'snap' one of those damn rubber bands just to let her know I saw the bands and the plastic bags. My husband would say "Lighten up sister!" if he saw her plastic bag covered feet. The majority of the bunny crap has been removed. It's safe to enter our yard again.

I'm waiting for my man friend to call me. He calls me every night. I can hear him laughing jubilantly in the background as he waits for me to say "Hello". His excitement at hearing my voice again must be overwhelming. I'm sure at work he turns to everyone and grabs his crotch and says "Yeah, I gotta go call the old lady." as he stomps off towards the phone. Then like magic when he gets a hold of me, he recites poetry - poems he has written to me while working at the plant. I burst into song, inspired by the poetry and find myself up on my toes doing pirouettes around the room. Such is our life.

It's time to go now, I've watched a dazzlingly perfect episode of Glee topped off with The Good Wife - life is good for me tonight. Tomorrow - green polish application to unglamorous feet! I bet I could convince a foot fetish guy to lose his eccentric compulsion to latch on to feet!! One look at my feet could change a man.

Goodnight.